Akatsuki go on holiday!
by alexisamidnightrunner
Summary: The naruto badguys decide to go on holiday, but will things go right?
1. Chapter 1

**Akatsuki: go on holiday!**

"Iv decided, we need a break" announced Pein, the rest of the Akatsuki cheered.

"Lets go somewhere hot" clapped Konan.

"Lets go somewhere where you can go scuba-diving" Kisame chirped.

"No, no. We should go somewhere dark and cold" Itachi said not looking up from painting his toenails.

"I agree" said Sasori with no emotion.

"Yes! Somewhere abandened where no-one can hear you scream" laughed Hidan. Soon all the Akatsuki members were shouting comments. Pein shook hi head. "No guys, what i meant was-"

"LETS GO DISNEYLAND!" shouted Tobi interrupting excitedly. All the Akatsuki members looked at him and at the same time shouted "SHUT UP TOBI!"

"You want to know what i think?" said Zetsu.

"No. no-one cares what you think Zetsu" Kakuza said reading evil monthly.

"I know, un!" said Dedria suddenly.

"What?" Konan said happily.

"lets go blow up the the hidden leaf village, yeah!"

Pein threw his arms up in aggravation "No. Listen. When i said we need a break i meant-"

"From each other?" Sasori finished.

" No! i-"

"Yay! Tobi go with Dedria!" Tobi happy danced.

"I'd want to get away from you, yeah." Dedria said moving away from Tobi.

"Ohmygod! All of you-" Pein shouted.

"So, are we going somewhere hot?" said Konan confused.

"SHUT UP!" Pein exploded, all the Akatsuki members shut up.

"I meant, lets have a break from missions for a while. But i didnt mean a holiday, or away from each other"

"Im glad. Saves money" nodded Kakuza. Konan looked sadly at Pein "so were not going on holiday?"

Everyone looked at him.

"Sorry, Konan. were not" Pein said looking away.

"Holiday! Holiday! Holiday!" cheered Kisame and Hidan.

After two hours of Hidan and Kisame, Pein finally agreed they would go on holiday. For an hour, they discussed (argued) where they would be going. They chose the sunny, beach side in a small village. They all went of to their rooms afterwards to do whatever.

Tobi was being chased by Konan. Tobi screamed, as he ran past the rooms, which made Sasori curious. Sasori peered out his room, then stepped out into the corridor. "Whats going o-" But he didnt get to finish as Tobi came crashing into him.

"I swear Tobi, if you dont get off me i am going to-"

"Tobi sorry Sasori, Tobi cant talk, Tobi running for his life" Tobi said getting up quick.

"You will be!" shouted Sasori, but Tobi already raced off.

"Wait till i get you, Tobi, you are soo dead!" Konan yelled, chasing after him. Sasori stepped smartly out of the way.

"What did i miss?"

"Oh, Tobi has hid Konans straightners" Hidan replied walking out of his room.

"Ah"

Eleswhere, the other Akatsuki members were packing.

"Itachi, thats the sixth bottle of nail varnish" kisame said.

"So?"

"Why?"

"I need them."

"Six?"

"Kisame"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up"

In the next room, Dedria was packing too. Suddenly he noticed a lump under his pillow. Dedria walked over to it and lifted it up gingerly. Underneath was a pair of new, shiny,blue straightners.

"Huh, un?"

Suddenly Tobi came running in and hid on top of Dedria's wardrobe.

"Tobi...?"

"Shhhh" Tobi whispered.

Kakuza slammed the phone down on the table.

"What's up?" Pein said walking into the room.

"I just got off the phone with the manager of the place were renting. He said we could stay, but the only problem is, there isnt enough rooms"

"So what are we going to do?"

"Well, we are all going to have to share. Two in a room"

"Great...well, I'll call a meeting"

In a few hours, all the Akatsuki members were sat down for the meeting.

"Now, i'v called you all hear to discuss a problem that has occured" Pein announced stood in front of them all. He continued "The problem is this place were staying, doesnt have enough rooms, so were going two in a room"

"What?" they all shouted. the announcement had cased an uproar between them all. Pein coughed, they all looked at him.

"Since im leader, i get to pick my partner first. I pick Konan" konan nodded. Everyone looked at each other in silence then they all started arguing who they were going with.

"I pick Itachi" Kisame shouted.

"I pick Hidan" yelled Kakuza.

"I pick Dedria!" Tobi squealed.

"What? I am not sharing a room with him, yeah!" Dedria stood up pointing at Tobi who was happy dancing.

"Too late, it's decided. Me and Konan, Itachi and Kisame, Tobi and Dedria, Hidan and Kakuza and Sasori and Zetsu" Pein said then sighed "okay, what are you waiting for? go pack"

"Yay! isn't this great?" Tobi laughed tugging on Dedrias cloak, as he walked out the room steaming.

"It could be worse" said Sasori sighing.

"Yeah, you could be Dedria" Hidan said laughing while cutting himself.

"Speaking of idiots, i need to see a certain someone about something" said Konan getting up and heading towards Tobi's room. Hidan watched her leave then his eyes widened "holy s***, i forgot to pack my hair gel" then ran quickly to his room.

"I'd better finish packing too" Sasori said sighing yet again.

"what do you need to pack?" Zetsu asked.

"My other hundred and twenty six puppets"

"Your freakin' kidding" yelled Kakuza "your only aloud to take one suitcase!"

"Damn!" yelled Kakuza and Itachi.

Find out if the Akatsuki's even get to go on holiday in the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Akatsuki: go on holiday chapter 2**

On the morning they were going, the Akatuki were all rushing out to the one bathroom, exept Zetsu who had slept in. Itachi, Dedria and Hidan got there first and started getting ready. Dedria brushing his hair, Hidan gelling his hair back and Itachi painting his nails. Outside the rest of the Akatsuki (except Zetsu, no-one bothered waking him up) were waiting impatiently.

"Move your a***, guys!" shouted Pein through the wooden door.

"What, so you can spend ten hours doing your hair?" sasori said smirking to Pein.

"No. So i can rip your head off and stick it down the toilet!" Pein snapped.

Finally, Itachi strolls out and Sasori sprints in.

"God damn it!" Kakuza shouts "what the hell are they doing in there Itachi?"

"Well, Dedria just finished doing his hair and started doing his gay makeup. And Hidan is still gelling his hair." Itachi explained pushing his fringe back.

"I need to get in there fast, if i dont get to brush my teeth soon someones gonna die" Konan said punching the wall.

"Yeah, Tobi needs to pee" Tobi says hopping from one foot to the other. Everyone takes a step away from Tobi.

Hours later, the Akatsuki members had gotten ready and finished putting their bags into the boot and climbed into the Akatsuki mobile. Soon, they were all comfortably sat in the minivan, Pein driving.

"Pein, put that radio station on i like" Konan asks from the back, leaning forwards. Pein turns the dial, and changes the station. Womanizer suddenly comes on booming fom the speakers.

"Great" Sasori says sarcastically leaning towards the window.

"This is my song" Dedria says jokingly.

"You sing?" Kakuza says smugly, Dedria snarls.

"Are we there yet?" Tobi asks.

"No, Tobi. We just set off" Itachi says moodily staring at the back of Peins seat.

"What are you reading?" Kisame asks observing Hidan.

"Its a book about my-"

"Where's Zetsu?" Sasori suddenly say interrupting, looking around.

"We must have left him" Pein says looking in the rear view mirror.

"Yeah, so as i was saying its a book about my religion" Hidan finishes.

After a while, the Akatsuki members stop chatting and start doing something. Konan gets out her OK! magazine, Sasori puts his ipod in, Hidan and Itachi read their books, Kisame playing on his DS, Kakuza adding up how much the holiday might cost and Tobi had his face pressed up against the car window, content with staring at things outside and having a little giggle.

The Akatsuki mobile rumbling down the road...


	3. Chapter 3

**Akatsuki go on holiday chapter 3**

"Are we nearly there yet?" Tobi asked Pein.

"No, for the last time, were not. When were there i'll tell you okay?" Pein said grounding his teeth and gripping the gear shift.

"Oh, go easy on him, Pein. I'm sure he's just excited" Konan said patting Tobi on the head.

"You treat him like a little kid! He's a S ranked criminal, for god's sake!"

"Watch your language about God's" Hidan said in a tight voice.

"You can talk, you use language all the time!" Kakuza shouted.

"But not about god's you mother f******"

"If you don't all shut up right now, i'm going to stop this car, throw you out and drive right of a cliff!" Pein shouted. "Were not even halfway there yet and your already killing me!"

"Crap!" Kisame said throwing a rage.

"What's lit your pants on fire?" Itachi said looking over.

"Lit what? Its my stupid new DS game. I nearly completed it, i had one last level then i died"

"Its because you lack hatred"

"No, its not that. I forgot to pick up the key in the last level"

"You'r crap then?"

"Think it's easy? you have a go." Kisame said madly throwing the DS at Itchi's head. Itachi caught it and started playing.

Hidan started reading the sign's on the road, cursing himself for being a fast reader. Suddenly he saw blue and red light's flashing.

"Pein...we have trouble"

"Huh, why?"

"Anbu at six oclock"

"Great, that's all i need!"

Pein stopped the minivan.

"Okay, guy's. Remember were not the Akatsuki were the Maki family, got it, good"

Hidan loved chances like this because he got to wear his fake beard. All the Akatsuki got in their disguises.

The Anbu walked over to the drivers window, and knocked. Pein rolled it down and forced a smile.

"Yes, can i help you?"

"Yeah, can you tell me who you are?"

"I would love to. But why?"

"Some S ranked criminals have been spotted coming through here. So again, names"

"Yes, ahem. Im mr Maki, this is my wife mrs Maki" he said pointing at Konan. "This is our son, and our daughter" he said waving a hand to Dedria and Tobi. "And our mum and dad and my brother" The Anbu inpected them all.

"Hmm okay. Well if you see anything suspicious. You know what to do." and was off.

When they went, the Akatsuki took off their disguises.

"I still don't get why i have to be a girl" Dedria said wiping his makeup off.

"Oh shut up, at least your part of the family, im the dog" Sasori said getting back onto his seat.

"Right, now that's over, let's get going." Pein said starting the minivan.

Pein broke into a smile. "Guese what, guys!" he shouted excitedly waking most of them up.

"What?" Hidan said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Were here, were finally here!"

"Woohoo!" Kisame cheered (he was upset because Itachi beat his high score)

"It's so warm!" Konan said happily.

"Too warm" Itachi said blinking and rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand.

"I don't care, if it's perfect or not. i'll finally be able to relax" Pein said walking in the direction of the house.

"It's...small" Hidan said looking up at the building.

"What did you expect? It was Kakuza who chose it" Sasori said then under his breath muttered "cheapskate"

"Hey, no arguing" Pein walked over to them both.

"But we-"

"Okay, today we'll get sorting out our room's and stuff. Then we have a whole week to relax and enjoy"

But will they get to relax and enjoy? Find out in the next chapter. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Akatsuki go on holiday chapter 4 **

Sasori cheered as he walked in his room, his plan worked.

"Mwahaha. I knew it would! I knew if i gave Zetsu sleeping pills he wouldn't wake up on time, meaning we'd go without him. Meaning i get the whole room to myself!"

"Sasori!" Hidan said walking into his room.

"Oops, was i talking out loud again? I really have to stop doing that."

"I think your evil"

"Well we are the Akatsuki"

"True. True."

Konan folded away her last shirt.

"Finally."

"What? Your finished already?" Pein said outstanded (Hadn't even opened his bag)

"Yeah. Now hurry up, if we all finish quickly we can get down to the beach before it get's too dark."

"But-"

"MOVE IT!"

"Okay, okay."

After Konan pushed them all, they had all finished packing and were off to the beach before four.

Down at the beach, most of the Akatuki's were enjoying themselves. Itachi curled up and wrapped his arm's around his knees. Under the beach umbrella he watched while Deidara happily buried Tobi in sand. Kisame was having fun frightning little kids in the sea, and Sasori decided to try his very first icecream While Pein and Konan sunbathed.

Deidara dusted the sand off his palms on his shorts.

"Okay Tobi, you'll be okay down there for...a while. So if you want anyone to get you out, just shout, okay, un?"

"Mffluh!" Tobi shouted from underneath.

"Good, okay. bye, un." Deidara said walking off.

"Deidara?" Itachi shouted over to him.

"Yeah?"

"Did you just bury Tobi alive?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, okay then."

When it turned six. Pein told them it was time to go, so they packed up their things and headed home.

"Where's Tobi?" Kisame asked shaking himself dry.

"Yes, where?" Itchi said looking at deidara, who was tunelessly whistling.

"Okay, fine. It's time to tell you all. Tobi, he's dea-"

"Here! Tobi's here!" Tobi shouted waving his arms about like a loon running over to them.

"What? how did you get out, un?"

"Easy."

"Guys, im tired. You two can discuss it in your room" Pein said with humour.

The Akatsuki's went to their rooms, after a long day of fun. They all went happily except Deidara.

"Why? Why, Tobi did you pick me, un?" Moaning in his bed.

"Because you are my bestest friend in the whole world"

"I certainly am not, un!"

Tobi looked at him sadly then went into his bed.

"Tobi knows inside you feel the same"

"No, Tobi. Inside i'm hungry"

"Hungry? Call for pizza then"

"You know, Tobi, that's the best idea you've ever had, un"

So Tobi and Deidara sneaked off to the kitchen and orded pizza.

"See, were bonding. Friends!" Tobi said attacking Deidara with a hug. Deidara was so very tempted to get the kitchen knife. His hand nearly got one when someone walked into the kitchen. It was Konan.

"Konan?" Deidara said flinging Tobi off him and walking over to her.

"Konan's sleepwalking!" Deidara said waving a hand in front of her. Suddenly konan grabbed his hand and started making out with it!

"AGH! Tobi get her off!"

"Okay, Tobi's on it" Tobi said grabbing Konan from behind and pulling her away. Deidara mentally scared backed off and grabbed a knife to protect himelf.

"You shouldn't wake someone who's sleepwalking" Tobi said.

"Don't worry, when i'v done she wont be waking up again, ever" Deidara marched over to her knife raised.

But konan fainted and he caught her, she pulled him down and he was on top of her. Then Pein walked in and went phyco.

"What's this? Deidara get off konan now!"

"I can explain. you see-"

"All i see is you on top of MY girl and you have a knife to stab her and ME in the back with!"

"No you see i-"

"Tobi. Get Konan and go outside. I don't want you to see this!"

Tobi quickly got Konan and ran out pressing his ear against the door.

"Ouch! Ow Pein. No please, no don't, not there. AGH!"

"Tobi! What's going on, i heard screaming!" Hidan shouts running out his room with his scythe.

"It's Deidara. Pein saw him with Konan and now Deidara is being killed"

Hidan was silent for a moment "Haha i thought it was Konan screaming"

Pein walks out and into his room. Tobi and Hidan look inside.

what do they see? hmm...


End file.
